The Waves and Winds Still Know His Name

It's been so long since I have written. But tonight, through a series of teachings, and some music I have been listening to, I feel so compelled to write. You see, if I have anything in me that I can share with you, then I want to do it. If I am struggling and someone else may have the same struggle, then lets go through it together. I want to share with you a very personal struggle that I am going through right now.

For me, I am battling fear. I am afraid to walk into those rooms full of people I do not know. I am afraid of dying alone. I have a fear of failure and a fear of rejection. Life has handed me a whole lot of fear over the past few years. I don't remember battling most of these fears when I was younger.  I think some of it came about when I became single. For the first year I was single, I was surrounded with so many people who were reaching out to me, holding my hand, and walking the journey into a new way of living with me. But over time, the new wore off for all of us. I seemed to be healing well from the scars that were left on my heart. And I started finding a new normal.

I have had a real unrest in my soul over the past few months though. I will call that unrest fear. I have become afraid. As God so often does, He brought some teachers into my life who confessed that they battle with fear. Through their confession, I am choosing to confess, also, that I battle with fear almost everyday of my life.

I watched Chonda Pierce's documentary last night, "Laughing in the Dark". At the end of the film she confessed a fear that punched me in the gut so hard. Why did it shake me to the core? Because I have the same fear. She confessed that she's afraid of dying alone. I'm afraid of dying alone, of having no one to hold my hand or care for me.

Tonight I watched a short live feed from Beth Moore. Low and behold, she was speaking on fear. She confessed that fear is one of her biggest battles. I suppose if Beth can say it out loud, and Chanda can say it out loud, then I can say it out loud, too. I think talking about it is one of the most effective ways of learning to conquer it. No, I'll probably never be completely free from fear, but my God will cover me in such a way that I can live my life and not miss out on the things He has for me. He and I can walk through fear together. One of those things He has for me is this confession. I believe that when I say it out loud, then others will completely understand, and begin to seek freedom from fear just like I am doing.

I will be praying this Scripture constantly.
Isaiah 41:10 says this:

So do not fear, for I am with you;
    do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

I am choosing to proclaim this Scripture every time I feel afraid.Whether I am afraid of dying alone, going into a crowded room alone, or whatever my fear is, this verse will be the words that God speaks over my heart. After all, that's why He placed these words in the Scriptures. He placed them there for you and for me. He is speaking them over our hearts right now. Do Not Fear!!!! For I am Your God!!! Amen! Praise His name!
Will you walk this journey with me? After all, as the song by Bethel Music says"so let go my soul and trust in Him. The waves and winds still know His name." When He says "Be still", our fears will be still, just like the waves and winds!

Much love! Kim