I currently live in a construction zone. I don't mean this figuratively, but literally. Everywhere I look I see sawdust, tools, doors leaning against my walls, kitchen utensils in boxes, and my stove and refrigerator in my dining room. My lawn is covered with saw horses, tools, and things that need to be thrown away.
And yet, I looked at Lindsay last night and said, "I am SO happy." Honestly, I couldn't be more content and joyful.
You see, I had to go on a journey to get here. Once again, thinking I knew exactly what was best for my life, I had adamantly decided that I needed a change. I needed to sell my house and move to a new location, a new home. I agonized over this decision for months. I looked at houses, talked to realtors, and planned my move. All the while, praying through where I should move to and what house would be perfect for me.
Yet, underneath all the plans I had made, there was the still small voice of my Father saying, "I want you to stay where you are." I continued to blow right past that voice. After all, moving is what made sense for me during this time in my life. Continually praying and seeking God's perfect will, I kept looking at new homes, new areas, a place to start my new life. I knew FOR SURE that I did not want to endure living in my home while it was being remodeled. The idea of doing that made me so anxious. The thought was unbearable.
One morning I woke up, after wrestling with this move all night. I knew, in a matter of moments, exactly what I was supposed to do. Keep my house! Renovate the whole thing! I finally said to God, "Yes, Lord. I will stay here. I have never taken on a project like this before. But I will trust You to give me wisdom and strength to transform my current house into a beautiful home. I surrender." As soon as I relented, perfect peace washed over me. I knew that I knew that this was God's will for my life.
By laying down my own ideas and notions and following God's perfect plan for me and my family, I have become the most grateful woman alive! Peace fills my heart and home. I have a wonderful team of men working on my house. I have been blessed beyond measure with the money to fix my home the way I have always dreamed I wanted it.
Yesterday, Lindsay and I took a shopping trip to Home Depot and then to Lowes. So excited that we could hardly contain ourselves, we began purchasing the decor for the inside of our home. The final thing we purchased was a mirror surrounded by wood. On the wood was carved the simple words, "Live, Laugh, Love." That's what I am asking God for my home to be. I am humbly asking Him to fill my home with Life, Laughter and Love.
You see, when you come to a place in your life where you totally desire God's perfect will, no matter what, then living in a construction zone is beautiful. I am one happy woman- saw dust, tools, and all. Why am I so happy? Because I finally stopped being so hard headed and listened to that still small voice that was guiding me all along.
I am grateful beyond belief. God is allowing my dreams to come true. Peace and joy fill my heart. This can only come from Him. Looking all around me today, I should be stressed. But I am not stressed. Instead, I am one blessed woman. Amazing friends, a wonderful family, and peace that surpasses all understanding. Each and every day the beauty of my renovated home begins to become visible. Gratitude washes over me daily.
"You makes beautiful things out of dust. You makes beautiful things out of us." Gungor
One last thing. There is an analogy here about what God has done in my life over the years. Those of you who are closest to me have watched the process. Yes, God truly does makes beauty from dust.
Much Love everyone. Thank you so much for reading. You all are so special to me.
