Nothing Like It!

My son is coming home today. He has been gone for two and a half weeks. I am beside myself with excitement. I just got home from a shopping spree at Walmart buying junk food for him. My order included potato stix, cookies, hot pockets, and brownies. All these items are things he loves. As I hurriedly pushed my cart through the store trying to beat the crowd, I found myself smiling. I wanted to look at someone and say "My sons coming home!!! Don't you understand??? MY SON"S COMING HOME!!! He's the best!!!"

As I loaded my order of groceries (AKA junk food) into my car, I was thinking how us moms love our kids. Really, there's nothing like it. Nothing compares to a Mommas love. My kids love me. They adore me. I have no question where I stand in their hearts, and for that, I am truly blessed. But, their love for me is still very different than my love for them. I was saying that very thing to Lindsay the other day. "I know how much you love me, but you will never fully understand my love for you until you are a mom."

The day you become a mom, your world changes. It gets more rich, more colorful. Selfishness falls away, for there is someone else that matters far more than yourself. As we raise our kids, we just love them! We are proud of them. We stand behind them. We sacrifice for them. When they get off track, we still love them and we are still proud of them. When their heart is broken, we feel their pain. When they have success, its the best day of our life! And when its just an ordinary day...nothing special...we still get excited just to see their faces, or even get a text from them. The littlest things make our day, like a hug or a note. There's just nothing like being a mom...

Can we possibly get our mind around the fact that our Father loves us even more than we love our kids? Better still, He loves our kids even more than we do! He is planning their lives, protecting, directing, loving and guiding them. For us moms, its hard to watch sometimes. Sometimes we have to watch them learn trust to Him in the middle of heart break. Sometimes our Father allows them the freedom to go in the wrong direction. (These trials not only grow our kids, but they also grow us.) Yet He is still guiding them as they "find themselves" or question Him. How beautiful is that? How lovely is our Fathers love. How very lovely....

A shout out to my kids! Thank you for being you! You are both the best!!! And a shout to God for giving you to me! His love for you is amazing! I am so grateful!

Daniel and Lindsay

 

 

 

                                 This was the day he got home from Europe! The day of my shopping trip!

I love this picture, even though its a year old. One of my favorites! We were on a hike in the Rocky Mountain National Park. Great Day! Love these two faces! :)

A walk to remember....

It was a hot muggy morning in Florida, like most mornings in Florida are. I was up before the rest of the family, and feeling a little restless. So I headed out the door for a long walk on the beach. As I walked, and began to pray, I remembered back to the night before. I had gone to bed late that evening with the same old guilt. Wrestling with the same old struggle was getting tiresome, and I was begging God to remove it.

As I walked and talked out loud, I am sure my fellow beach walkers thought I had lost my mind.  My prayer that morning, through my sweat and tears, went something like this: "God, I can never get this right! No matter how hard I try, I am always failing! Please just remove it!" The wrestling within me  was so deep, the longing for Him was almost palatable. At the same time I could almost see a finger pointing at me from my accuser and making me feel unworthy, and inadequate. As I prayed, His sweet voice came to me. It was almost audible, and I have never forgotten His words.

"My child, I am not sitting up here measuring and counting your failures! I'm not keeping score against you. I just love the fact that you get up everyday and come after me!"

Grace, Mercy. Unfailing unconditional Love. I felt all of that on the beach that day. I knew in my heart once again, that even though I fail all too often, His love for me never ceases.

I have carried that morning walk with me in my heart for a few years now. And even this morning as I sit here writing, His words ring in my head. I am still a big ole piece of work in progress! And He is still my God who is so proud of me, failures and all... He just longs for my time and wants me to get up everyday and head towards Him...

                                                           Fernandina Beach, Florida