Wow, I can't believe how long it's been since I've written (and published) a blog. But tonight I have been in deep thought, and felt inspired by God. Most generally He allows me a time of growth, then He places a subject on my heart. Tonight is no different. I have been growing in Him, and now I need to write...So here goes...
A long long time ago when I was a young mother, I used to beg God for a mentor. I dreamed of having an older woman (about the age I am now, ha!) to have coffee with, study the Scriptures with, and someone who would teach me about life, how to raise my children and how to be the perfect wife. Beautiful dream, right?
This dream of mine never fell into place. In fact, I found myself struggling and learning in the school of hard knocks. I WAS very blessed to have teachers come into my life at various times who seem to have the very words I needed at the moment. I got to sit under the teaching of Jan Silvious, Bekita Heath, Beth Moore, Betty Robinson, and many many more.( I could name so many other personal friends but I'm afraid I would leave someone out. )These ladies listed above really never knew me, but I soaked up every word they spoke. Looking back now I see they were the mentors I craved when I was younger, and as I have grown they continue to teach me.
But God, in His wisdom had gone before me and made a plan for my life. In order to learn, I needed to experience life, the good times and the bad times. And yes, sometimes the most horrible times. Through out my life I began to learn who He is, how much He loves me, how to forgive, how to raise my children, how to love even when it wasn't returned. I learned the gift of forgiveness. I learned how to make it on my own, just me and Him. I have learned the art of letting go, and the art of loss. I've learned the true meaning of a vow, and how to hold on even when you want to break it. I've learned the pain of a broken heart and how to lean hard on Him to carry me through. Trust me, He's carried me through so much!
There is SO much more I have to learn. I am a piece of work in progress, that's for sure. I'm often a hot mess. (All my friends and family may say AMEN now!) I'm far from perfect. I do not know what my next life lesson will be. But now I can say with confidence, Savior, You will carry me. You will walk with me. You will show me the way. And You will use what You have taught me in the lives of others.
You see? That's why I never had coffee with the mentor I desperately craved years ago. I needed to learn about life while walking with Him. I needed to learn His riches for myself. And I must say, I have hardly touched the hem of what He has for me, and for others.
My prayer tonight is that someday I can mentor a young mom, a dear friend, or a stranger who needs His help. If you're out there, I'm here for God to use me in your life.
Much love! Kim
