Purity and The Controversery

My daughter chose purity. In 2002, we stood in front of hundreds of people at Silverdale Baptist Church, and she made a vow to her father and I that she would remain pure. One that day, she proudly choked out the vows to remain pure until her wedding day. And we proudly choked out our vows to hold her accountable, to keep our home as an environment that would help her make keep this vow, to guard her as much as possible, and to openly discuss this decision with her over the next several years, right up until her wedding day. She proudly wore a ring that represented her vow. She studied the biblical meaning of a vow, and knew how seriously saying a vow to God was going to be. But she was determined to make that choice.  Little did we know how difficult this decision would become and how much controversy it would cause.

Over the years she lost several boyfriends because of her decision. Even the most godly young men couldn't deal with her remaining pure. She went through much heartache and pain, losing a couple of young men that she felt she had a future with. She was criticized and even mocked over her choice. We had very deep conversations, and even arguments as I fought to help her keep her vow. Hurt and pain came from the vow, but she stayed true to herself and to God. And God honored her...

One day, almost two and a half years ago, she meet an amazing, handsome young man. He saw her as a future wife, not just someone to have sex with at the time. Though he had never thought of purity because of his upbringing, he decided to join her in her quest to remain pure. He not only joined her, but he has protected her in every way possible from any temptation they may have as they dated.

Nothing ever prepared her for the firestorm that would follow. It seemed that friends and acquaintances took up two camps, with a few friends in the "Remain Pure" camp, and many friends in the "That's just not the way life is in this day and age" camp. Friends and family turned their backs on them, became angry, and mocked them for their choice. They even lost a couple of friends who were so far against their decision. They were cussed out and teased. And they have been supported and loved by those who agree with their choice. Even several friend who didn't choose purity have encouraged them to stay the course until they were married.

The point of this blog is not to shame anyone in any way. Most of my friends, family and acquaintances have not chosen this course for their life. I believe that Jesus Himself was tempted in all ways, including sexual temptation so He understands the struggle. I also believe that it's much easier to give in and have sex than to remain pure. If you have not chosen the same path, I am not condemning you in any way, shape or form. You are still loved and respected by me and by Lindsay no matter what your choice. And if you are a Christian, there is always forgiveness from God. He never turns away His children just because they made a mistake. I would extend love to you. We all have skeletons in our closest, no matter what our sin is. Not one of us can proclaim to be innocent. Lindsay has many other things that she struggles with. We all have our own path in life. Our paths include both good choices, bad choices and regrets over choices we have made. I certainly have mine. Everyone has different struggles along the way. Not one of us should condemn the other,

My question is this. Why not love and support those who have chosen the path of purity? It is not an easy path, but it is the right choice for her. She has many friends who made the same choice. They are married now, and they have no regrets whatsoever.

The truth is, this is not the way people live their lives these days. Living together and having sex outside of marriage is the most common way of life for most people. For those of you who believe this way is perfectly fine, we still love you. We don't mock you or tease you. We don't preach to you about your choice. Unless you bring it up, we don't discuss it with you. It is your business and between you and God.

So why not give those who choose purity the same respect?

In 6 months from yesterday I will walk Lindsay down the isle. I will be a very proud and happy momma as I give Lindsay's hand to her love, Daniel. At that moment, she will give me her purity ring. It will be a sign to us of the heartache, pain, and now the joy that has come along with purity. Celebrate this moment with us! Whether you agree or not, it's the path she has chosen. She freely loves you all, no matter what your choice has been. No condemnation. As a tear may fall from my eye at that moment, just know that it's a been a long battle that we fought hard for. In a life full of hurts, pain, and disappointment, this will be a moment of victory. Please rejoice with us as the struggle comes to an end and she can freely give herself to the love of her life.

Much love everyone!

I am Yours and You are Mine

Often times I find myself praying continuously for the needs of others. "Father, please heal my dear friend...Father please provide for the needs of my sweet sister....Father, Heal their broken marriage..." and so on.

As I sit here tonight, tears streaming down my face, I wonder why it is that I do not ask Him for my own needs as often as I should, or even ask Him for my wants? As I search my heart, I believe it's a trust issue. It's so easy for me to trust God for my friends health, or the financial needs of others, for the salvation of others, or even ask Him for the deepest desires of my close friends. Yet I brush by my own desires and needs as if He isn't big enough to answer my own prayers, or He doesn't care about my needs and desires.

Am I afraid He won't answer the way I ask Him to? Am I afraid of His silence on certain desires or needs? Is it a lack of faith on my part? I must admit, it's probably a little bit of all of the above. I depend greatly on my family and friends to pray for me, and they always do. But do I come boldly before Him asking on my own behalf? Sometimes I do! And sometimes I do not.

As I write tonight I am reminded of the theme I have used for over a year now. It's the words to my favorite song of all time, "Oceans" by Hillsong.

"Spirit lead to me where my trust is without borders" This is my daily prayer, and the theme of my relationship with Him. Yet I'm afraid tonight my trust may fall short.

So, once again, before my friends and family, I renew this undying trust that I desire to live for the rest of my life.
"Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders. Let me walk upon the waters wherever You would call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander, and my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior. So I will call upon Your name, and keep my eyes above the waves when oceans rise, my soul will rest in Your embrace. For I am Yours and You are mine."

Now, I'm about to embark upon a new journey. Yes, I feel afraid. But I am keeping my eyes on Him, just like Peter. in Matthew 14:22-34. "Take courage. It is I. Don't be afraid" Yes, Lord, I trust You and I will take courage, even when the waves make me feel afraid, for I am Yours, and You are mine.

Much Love to you all! And much praise and glory to our King! Amen

By faith Abraham obeyed and went even though he didn't know where he was going....

Without fail, when I really open up with my writing, I have others reach out to me saying "Thank you so much for sharing! I am going through the same thing!"

Well, here goes...

Being in the 'sandwich' stage of life is one of the hardest, yet most beautiful times of my life. It's so difficult to watch my parents age. There's a sense of what's to come with every moment we spend together. Yet, I really don't know exactly what's to come. I have no idea how life will play out. No matter what, it's so difficult to watch them lose their friends one by one, go through sickness, experience loneliness, lose their siblings, and grow older.

There's also guilt that comes along with it. I feel so guilty that I can't spend more time with them. I can't make up for the close friends they've lost. They have given their lives to me, supporting me, and loving me through everything I've ever been through, never giving up on me. Yet now, I feel so helpless with them. I want to fix all their hurt, health problems, and make them young again. But there's nothing I can do. I can only love them, and listen to them as they talk about what life feels like for them now.

Then there's my younger generation. I raised them to spread their wings and fly. I am watching them fly the nest. Their flight is at times a struggle, but also very beautiful. I am watching my prayers that I have prayed for them for 26 years all be answered. Some prayers are answered exactly like I prayed. Others are being answered in different ways than I thought they would be, or taking longer than I expected. Unexpected life experiences are constantly being thrown at me. Life is so great! And life hurts, as I watch them grow older. Yet I am so happy for them, for their new lives, and for the beauty I see as they grow up and leave the nest. What joy they bring me!

Add to all this, being a single mom, and dealing with it all alone and it adds an entirely different layer to life. I am not unhappy with my singleness. In fact, as odd as this may sound, it's been a blessing. I have learned even more than ever before to lean on God for my every need, and to praise Him in the good times and difficult times. God has put me all back together, made me stronger, healed my hurts, and I hope made me a little more wise. But at times I do wish there was someone by my side to share in the victories, pride, and grief as each generation brings their own joy and pain into life.

How about you? Are any of you feeling the same things? I would love to hear from you if you are sharing the same joy and the same heartache. Let's gather around one another, pray for each other, and support each other. I believe that's what God intends for His people. There's nothing more beautiful than His people loving on Him, and loving each other. You can email me at kypw77@yahoo.com, or contact me in a private message on Facebook!

Much love dear friends. Thank you so much for reading! It truly humbles me.