I am so blessed with several close friends. Each relationship is different, and each is very special to me. One of my very close friends and I email each other back and forth most every day. We talk about everything from the mundane, to our heartbreaks, to our love for Christ, and our walk with Him. We share Scriptures along the way. It's a very special relationship because we truly understand one another.
A couple of weeks ago, I received and email from my dear friend. She was emailing me about her day. She was telling me all she had accomplished that day around the house and doing her shopping. Then she began to list all the things she still didn't get done. She then said something to me that I thought was so profound. She said, "Why can't I ever let myself win?". Wow! Isn't that every woman's battle? We cannot ever let ourselves win. No matter how much we do, how smart we are, or how many people we help we feel it's never enough.
God immediately brought to my mind a reply to my sweet sister. As I began to answer her email, the words flowed through my finger tips as if God had a special message, not just for her, but for me. My reply went something like this:
"When are we ever going to learn to see ourselves though God's eyes instead of the eyes of man? God tells us plainly in His Word that we are the apple of His eye. Why are we the apple of His eye? It's not because of anything we do, anything we say, or how much we accomplish during a day. Rather it is because He just loves us. There's no stipulations, no hoops we have to jump through, and no standard we have to live up to. We do not have to be a perfect mom, have a great job, a college education, or keep a perfect house. He just loves us. His love is not based on a single thing we could ever do! Some way, somehow, we HAVE to begin to live our lives like we are the apple of God's eye no matter what we accomplish."
As I typed those words to my wonderful sister, something supernatural began to happen in me. You see, I have always felt that I needed to earn love by being "good enough". Whether it was the love of God or the love of people, I have always felt that no matter what I do, it's never enough. On that day, God began to free me from the bondage of trying to earn love or trying to be enough. I am still on the journey of replacing the old tapes that have played in my head for so many years with the Truth that God tells me that He thinks about me. I will say this: since I started this journey, my new way of thinking has been tried at times. But through those trials, God has always brought me back to the truth. I am the apple of His eye. I have not earned it by anything I have done. I just am, because He loves me.
Much Love!
"Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings" Psalm 17:8
