Angel Unaware

I randomly remembered the other day something that happened when Daniel was born. When I entered the hospital to have Daniel, I was asked if I wanted to try a morphine drip to manage the pain. (I was about to have a C-Section). Without a second thought I told them YES! I knew what was in store for me and I wasn't looking forward to the pain afterwards.

Within a few hours after Daniel was born, I began to regret this quick decision. I began to itch all over. It was an itch like poison ivy. I couldn't scratch enough. I couldn't rest. I couldn't sleep. I felt like I would go crazy with this itch. Nurse after nurse came into my room. I would tell them over and over how badly I was itching and without fail their response was "You don't have a rash of any kind. I don't see anything, so I'll just order you some benedryl and you'll feel better." But hour after hour I was still itching. Nothing helped and no one listened to me.

After hours and hours of going out of my mind, a nurse I had never seen before came through my door. "Mrs Weaver? I hear you are having some problems with itching. This is a side effect from that morphine you're on. Let me help you feel better!" With that she pulled out some cocoa butter lotion and began to put lotion on me. "Show me where you're itching and I'll rub you really good with this lotion! It will help you so much. And I am turning off this morphine. As soon as it's out of your system you'll feel so much better."

For the first time since I'd had my surgery, I felt understood. I felt her genuine compassion. I remember her voice being so caring and kind. I remember feeling such relief, not so much from the lotion, but from her words of encouragement. She brought to me such a sense of warmth. She brought a real sense of God to me that day.

She left my room as I finally began to dose off, feeling so much better. I never saw her again. I don't remember her name. But I do remember her compassion. I have been thinking about her today and wondering who she was and why she believed me and cared enough to try and give me some relief. I have also been thinking about how I want to be that person. I want to be the person that brings compassion, caring and a sense of God to others. That nurse, whom ever she is, has long since forgotten me, and that day. But 21 years later, I remember it well...

Funny how the little things can impact someone else's life forever....

Someone tweeted this verse this morning and I have carried it with me all day.
1 Corinthians 15:58
Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.


That verse sums things up perfectly...
I am once again humbled that you are reading my little blog. Much love!

The Sun Still Burns the Shadows Out

I don't sleep well the night before I leave to go on a trip, and this night was no different. We were leaving Amelia Island to travel home the next day and I wasn't looking forward to the drive. We were to leave at 7:30am, but I was wide awake at 3am, tossing and turning, simply ready to get on with the trip. I finally decided to get up and watch for the sun to rise from our balcony. By this time it was around 4:30. I made some coffee and took a seat, excited to see the sun come up. I think I was expecting a magical moment. But instead, I sat and waited, feeling a little irritable and restless. Finally the sky began to lighten. It was ever so slight, but I was still anxious for the impending sun rise to began. I sat and waited, and waited. Still no sun. I began to get antsy. I paced about the deck, then went into the condo and paced about, packing a few things and trying to fill the time until my family would wake up. I walked out to my view every 5 or 10 minutes waiting and watching. Still no sun. Finally, my restlessness began to ease as the sky got lighter and lighter.

I returned to my perch once again to watch the show. But there was no show. Instead, I saw clouds covering the horizon. The sky was light, but the clouds covered the sun for quite some time.
I gave up on this magical sunrise that I wanted so badly and returned to packing. After a few minutes I returned for one last look, and there it was! The most beautiful sunrise! Finally, the sun was up in all it's beautiful glory, no clouds or haze, pure sunshine! I grabbed my phone and quickly took a picture.

In that moment I realized that the morning of sleeplessness, my restlessness, clouds, and this sunrise would come to mean more to me than just another morning.

This sunrise reminded me of the progression my life has taken in the last 3 1/2 years. You see, Lindsay and I witnessed a great tragedy on beautiful spring day a few years back, as we stood helplessly and watched a man take his own life just a few feet in front of us. This one tragic event seemed to start a spiral of events, most of which I can't speak of to protect the privacy of those I love. It has seemed relentless at times.

Ever since that tragic day, I have felt as if I am in a war. There have been days that were as dark as night. There have been days that I would vaguely see the light. And there have been days that the sun was there, yet it was covered with clouds.

Then there are days like the past few days. Days when the sun has been shining as bright as it can be. Today has been a day full of hope, joy, laughter, and sun light. Thank God! I am fully aware of the battle that is still raging all around, in my life and the lives of so many people that I love. But I am basking in the sun while it is shining. I am learning to pay attention to the joy God gives through the small things in life, such as a good laugh with a friend, or song that touches me deeply. Praise His name for 'the sun that burns the shadows out'!

I know so many of you that have been in the war along with me. We suffered heartache, loss, cried many tears, and grieved together. We've prayed hard for each other and been a shoulder for one another. I have seen the work of the enemy attempting to destroy so many lives all around me. There are days that the battle is exhausting. These are the days that we either live what we believe, or we crumbled. We've talked to one another about how we've never seen times like these that we are living in.

And then there are days of glorious relief. His presence is so evident. Today I have been able to rest my soul, and bask in the love of my Savior. Praise God for the sunshine, and that beautiful sunrise He woke me up to view on that beautiful summer day!

Love you all! And love the way we do life together! I am a blessed woman!