Jesus in our pocket...

I am writing this morning with so much on my mind. My heart has become so burdened for the 'church'. I almost feel like God is giving me a perspective as an outsider looking in. However, I am not an outsider, but immersed in the grand adventure of following God, and walking with Him, and His people everyday.

I have had some monumental life lessons over the last few months. Its been a series of eye opening experiences. Talks with friends. Talks with family.  Circumstances. New people that He has brought into my life. I have tried my best to approach it all to see what I could learn, and how I could change my thinking to line up with what God is trying to show me.

You see, for many years I was a typical church woman. I was raising my kids to love and serve God. Teaching them constantly about the ways of the Lord. I went to my Bible studies, attended church, tithed, helped missionaries, proudly sent my kids off on several mission trips and prayed for everyone that God placed in my heart. All of that is wonderful! I am not, in any way, saying that there is anything wrong with any of it. God used it all to grow me up and get me to this very place in my life. But I have come to this place in my life where all of that is not enough. I want to be more! I want to put hands and feet to my walk with Christ!

I asked God a few weeks ago to place me in positions where He could use me in the lives of others in an everyday, real way. And boy, did He ever oblige! There are so many people out there that simply need love, so many that need an ear to hear them. There are so many people that need to know they matter in life and someone cares. They don't necessarily need a Bible verse, or a handy Christian saying. Rather, they need love. They need conversation. They need time.

As God began to change my heart, and my view of the church, He began to fill my life with opportunities.  I told some friends the other day, "My hands are full! I am not sure how I can give to everyone that He has placed in my life!" Many of you are seeing life as I am. I have become somewhat disillusioned, somewhat jaded by people who have Jesus in their pocket, and pull Him out whenever they need Him. Then put Him away, as though He's not their Savior, rather an accessory to make them look good. Many hide their secret life of sin or of pain or of struggles. Putting on their best Christian face all the time, but never being a real person. Its my deepest desire to share Him in very practical ways. To no longer live a religious life, rather a life that shares His love with people where they live. A life that's real and practical, and that others can relate to.

I have felt overwhelmed on many days, but I have come to the conclusion that all I can do is love on those that God places on my heart and in my life one at a time. But if we all reached out, and showed His love in whatever capacity that He allowed us to, even if its one person at a time, what a different world we would live in! Will you join me? Will you step out from the safety of the life we all have lived, and go with me while we allow God to open our eyes to what He is trying to tell us? Can we please stop being so religious, and start being real? Can we put hands, feet, AND love to the Jesus that's been in our pocket?

Salida, Co.. I will never forget you...

As we left Crested Butte on Monday, it was a very bitter sweet drive. I must admit, I felt like I was leaving my heart behind. I have never felt that way before about any place on earth (except Ooltewah). We stopped by a meadow and a stream to let Lindsay take some pictures of her favorite wildflowers. I noticed one of the spotted horses that had caught my eye during our visit. I so loved watching him every time we passed by his farm. Wish I had taken his picture. I would love to see his face today. But somehow, I knew in my heart, I'd be back.

We rambled back through the mountains, to a little town called Salida. Never, in my wildest dreams, could I imagine what that day had in store for me. Our trip was about to take a drastic turn of events, and my heart was about to be split wide open.

We found our cabin, and moved all our things in. A feeling of oppression settled over me as we entered the town, and then our cabin. Our cabin was lovely! It was huge, with a game room, fully stocked kitchen, big screen tv's, wrap around porch, and even horse shoes. But something felt so uneasy there. Those of you with the gift of discernment know exactly what I am talking about. You are feeling the way I felt, even as you read this. And those who don't have that gift, are a little confused right now. But I am just being honest. Something in my spirit was not right.

We settled in, bought groceries and began to cook supper. As Lindsay and I were attempting to grill our steaks, a wild wind started blowing in. My guess would be that it was at least 50mph! We could hardly stand in it. And then, everything changed. I got that phone call that still makes me shiver when I think of it.

My dear friend, Kim McArthur, was crying on the other end. She said to me "I wanted you to know that Adam died today". (Adam was her oldest son). Then we just began to cry together. During our very personal conversation, all I could do is pray, "God help us! God help us! Jesus! Jesus! We need you!" Can you imagine my panic? My pain, as I tried to weakly help my very close friend from 2000 miles away. It was every mom's nightmare. Nothing in life had prepared me to walk through these waters. After a few minutes of total despair, she assured me that I needed to stay in Colorado, then, reluctantly, we said goodbye. I am pretty sure I cried for the next 24 hours off and on. My body was in Colorado, but my heart was in Chattanooga with Kim.

As the next few days passed, God showed up in a huge way! I had some amazing moments with Him, and my family. Beautiful hikes, antelope, a wolf, a ghost town, silence on the top of a 14,000 foot mountain, snow, and great conversation. And fabulous food! Lindsay and Daniel discover how to throw horseshoes. So there was laughter...so much laughter! The town, and cabin still had a sense of oppression for me, but when we were out in the backcountry, life was incredibly peaceful and good.

Again, I marvel at the Love of God. His timing is so perfect. At first, I questioned why I was so far away when my wonderful friend needed me most. But as time went on, I knew God had me there to refresh me so I would come back home with a new strength. Kim agreed that she would need me most later, after the funeral. God's timing is perfect.

I will never understand why He allows tragedy of that magnitude. I will never understand why my godly wonderful friend has had to suffer so much pain. All I know is this. God is God. He knows. And He loves us. I don't have to understand. All I have to do is follow and believe, even when its so painful that my heart could burst.
Here are a few of the memories from that part of the trip...enjoy! Love you all! More to come from our last stop on the trip in a few days! Thanks for coming along! :) I can honestly say that my heart longed to share every minute with you all. We should take a group trip someday :)

                                                   Cottonwood Pass, Buena Vista, Co

The view from our cabin deck

one of our hikes to Agnes Falls

Agnes Falls....never too old to climb a few rocks! :)

Lindsay and I sitting on top of a mountain, enjoying the view and having great conversation.

Never once did we ever walk alone...

As AJ sang this song this morning at Ethos, this lyric really resonated within me. "Never once did we ever walk alone. You are faithful God..." I must admit, I walked through a season this past winter where I couldn't see what God was doing, and I didn't sense His presence. It was a very dark time in my life. I was in despair. And if felt as though I was so weak. I was barely crawling through life,  brokenhearted.
It feels amazing to look back and see the path that He had me on during that time. All along He was whispering to me, "Keep going, my love. I am right here. Trust Me, even in the darkness, even though you can't see a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel. Trust Me."
And now, it all makes sense. Now I see what He was doing. I am so humbled and grateful to Him for those days. The pain and darkness was so worth it! I wouldn't trade it for any amount of joy and happiness. As I look back, I know without a doubt "Never once did I ever walk alone..." He never left my side. He carried me through. And the place He has brought me to is so beautiful, filled with more trust that ever before.
If you are where I was just a few months ago, I want you to know, He is right there, even if you can't see Him, or feel Him. Even if your path is black with darkness, He is right there. You can trust Him. Hold on! There is light coming! Don't give up! He is God!

Crested Butte, Colorado

Today, my heart and mind have been wondering to Colorado. What a wonderful place! God's creation at its finest. I can remember as we drove from Pueblo, into the mountains, through Salida, then into the back country thinking to myself, "Could there ever be a more beautiful place in this world?" We drove over such high peaks, over snow covered mountain tops, through beautiful valleys, saw rushing rivers, and rambling creeks. We passed through tiny quaint towns with the most charming buildings. The people were so kind every where we stopped. And horses! So many horses. Every farm, every house had a horse or two. I truly love horses. Their soft noses, the way they smell, brushing them, saddling them, their soft whispering nay when they see you coming, their rippling muscles. Needless to say, as we took that drive, I felt like I was in heaven.
When we arrived at our first destination, Crested Butte, I can remember driving through that lovely town and feeling a strange sense of belonging. Home. It felt like home. So strange how a place I have never been before could feel so familiar. The culture is entirely different from our southern culture. Yet, I felt like I belonged. As we checked into our condo that night, tears welled up in my eyes. Tears of awe. I was totally in awe of God and His creation, and the fact that He would allow me, of all people, to partake in such beauty.
I am going to share more from our journey as time goes by, but for now, I want to stay in Crested Butte. The wildflowers were in full bloom, the trees were incredible, and the views were stunning. We had Mountain Blue birds nesting in our vents. So we had the pleasure of watching the mom and dad come in and out and feed their babies. The dad would stand watch over the nest. We could almost always spot him keeping a keen eye on his nest, and his babies. Then on our last day there, 2 of the birds were pushed from the nest. They landed on our balcony. We worried and fretted over their safety. But their parents were never far away. They came and fed them on our balcony, until the day we left. The owner of our condo emailed us later to let us know that she saw them fly away a few days later.
So many metaphors for that story, and other experiences we had in that lovely town.
If you ever have a chance, visit Crested Butte. It's an experience unlike any other.
Today, I needed the peace that those memories brought. Life brings so much sorrow, and grief and suffering. But today, briefly in my mind, I could return to Crested Butte. And feel the peace of that place. Thank You Father for the love you show me. I am so humbled that You allowed me such a great visit. Just think, Heaven will be far more beautiful, and lovely. And I will see You face to face. I can only imagine....
For now, indulge me as I share a few pictures....enjoy!

                                           So beautiful! The drive in to the town...

                                           Our baby Mountain Blue Birds. Yes! They are alive! :)

                                           Some of the beautiful wildflowers

                                           What a wonderful town....