Often times I find myself praying continuously for the needs of others. "Father, please heal my dear friend...Father please provide for the needs of my sweet sister....Father, Heal their broken marriage..." and so on.
As I sit here tonight, tears streaming down my face, I wonder why it is that I do not ask Him for my own needs as often as I should, or even ask Him for my wants? As I search my heart, I believe it's a trust issue. It's so easy for me to trust God for my friends health, or the financial needs of others, for the salvation of others, or even ask Him for the deepest desires of my close friends. Yet I brush by my own desires and needs as if He isn't big enough to answer my own prayers, or He doesn't care about my needs and desires.
Am I afraid He won't answer the way I ask Him to? Am I afraid of His silence on certain desires or needs? Is it a lack of faith on my part? I must admit, it's probably a little bit of all of the above. I depend greatly on my family and friends to pray for me, and they always do. But do I come boldly before Him asking on my own behalf? Sometimes I do! And sometimes I do not.
As I write tonight I am reminded of the theme I have used for over a year now. It's the words to my favorite song of all time, "Oceans" by Hillsong.
"Spirit lead to me where my trust is without borders" This is my daily prayer, and the theme of my relationship with Him. Yet I'm afraid tonight my trust may fall short.
So, once again, before my friends and family, I renew this undying trust that I desire to live for the rest of my life.
"Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders. Let me walk upon the waters wherever You would call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander, and my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior. So I will call upon Your name, and keep my eyes above the waves when oceans rise, my soul will rest in Your embrace. For I am Yours and You are mine."
Now, I'm about to embark upon a new journey. Yes, I feel afraid. But I am keeping my eyes on Him, just like Peter. in Matthew 14:22-34. "Take courage. It is I. Don't be afraid" Yes, Lord, I trust You and I will take courage, even when the waves make me feel afraid, for I am Yours, and You are mine.
Much Love to you all! And much praise and glory to our King! Amen
Friday, March 6, 2015
Sunday, March 1, 2015
By faith Abraham obeyed and went even though he didn't know where he was going....
Without fail, when I really open up with my writing, I have others reach out to me saying "Thank you so much for sharing! I am going through the same thing!"
Well, here goes...
Being in the 'sandwich' stage of life is one of the hardest, yet most beautiful times of my life. It's so difficult to watch my parents age. There's a sense of what's to come with every moment we spend together. Yet, I really don't know exactly what's to come. I have no idea how life will play out. No matter what, it's so difficult to watch them lose their friends one by one, go through sickness, experience loneliness, lose their siblings, and grow older.
There's also guilt that comes along with it. I feel so guilty that I can't spend more time with them. I can't make up for the close friends they've lost. They have given their lives to me, supporting me, and loving me through everything I've ever been through, never giving up on me. Yet now, I feel so helpless with them. I want to fix all their hurt, health problems, and make them young again. But there's nothing I can do. I can only love them, and listen to them as they talk about what life feels like for them now.
Then there's my younger generation. I raised them to spread their wings and fly. I am watching them fly the nest. Their flight is at times a struggle, but also very beautiful. I am watching my prayers that I have prayed for them for 26 years all be answered. Some prayers are answered exactly like I prayed. Others are being answered in different ways than I thought they would be, or taking longer than I expected. Unexpected life experiences are constantly being thrown at me. Life is so great! And life hurts, as I watch them grow older. Yet I am so happy for them, for their new lives, and for the beauty I see as they grow up and leave the nest. What joy they bring me!
Add to all this, being a single mom, and dealing with it all alone and it adds an entirely different layer to life. I am not unhappy with my singleness. In fact, as odd as this may sound, it's been a blessing. I have learned even more than ever before to lean on God for my every need, and to praise Him in the good times and difficult times. God has put me all back together, made me stronger, healed my hurts, and I hope made me a little more wise. But at times I do wish there was someone by my side to share in the victories, pride, and grief as each generation brings their own joy and pain into life.
How about you? Are any of you feeling the same things? I would love to hear from you if you are sharing the same joy and the same heartache. Let's gather around one another, pray for each other, and support each other. I believe that's what God intends for His people. There's nothing more beautiful than His people loving on Him, and loving each other. You can email me at kypw77@yahoo.com, or contact me in a private message on Facebook!
Much love dear friends. Thank you so much for reading! It truly humbles me.
Well, here goes...
Being in the 'sandwich' stage of life is one of the hardest, yet most beautiful times of my life. It's so difficult to watch my parents age. There's a sense of what's to come with every moment we spend together. Yet, I really don't know exactly what's to come. I have no idea how life will play out. No matter what, it's so difficult to watch them lose their friends one by one, go through sickness, experience loneliness, lose their siblings, and grow older.
There's also guilt that comes along with it. I feel so guilty that I can't spend more time with them. I can't make up for the close friends they've lost. They have given their lives to me, supporting me, and loving me through everything I've ever been through, never giving up on me. Yet now, I feel so helpless with them. I want to fix all their hurt, health problems, and make them young again. But there's nothing I can do. I can only love them, and listen to them as they talk about what life feels like for them now.
Then there's my younger generation. I raised them to spread their wings and fly. I am watching them fly the nest. Their flight is at times a struggle, but also very beautiful. I am watching my prayers that I have prayed for them for 26 years all be answered. Some prayers are answered exactly like I prayed. Others are being answered in different ways than I thought they would be, or taking longer than I expected. Unexpected life experiences are constantly being thrown at me. Life is so great! And life hurts, as I watch them grow older. Yet I am so happy for them, for their new lives, and for the beauty I see as they grow up and leave the nest. What joy they bring me!
Add to all this, being a single mom, and dealing with it all alone and it adds an entirely different layer to life. I am not unhappy with my singleness. In fact, as odd as this may sound, it's been a blessing. I have learned even more than ever before to lean on God for my every need, and to praise Him in the good times and difficult times. God has put me all back together, made me stronger, healed my hurts, and I hope made me a little more wise. But at times I do wish there was someone by my side to share in the victories, pride, and grief as each generation brings their own joy and pain into life.
How about you? Are any of you feeling the same things? I would love to hear from you if you are sharing the same joy and the same heartache. Let's gather around one another, pray for each other, and support each other. I believe that's what God intends for His people. There's nothing more beautiful than His people loving on Him, and loving each other. You can email me at kypw77@yahoo.com, or contact me in a private message on Facebook!
Much love dear friends. Thank you so much for reading! It truly humbles me.
Wednesday, February 4, 2015
I Wish We all Could Win
I am so blessed with several close friends. Each relationship is different, and each is very special to me. One of my very close friends and I email each other back and forth most every day. We talk about everything from the mundane, to our heartbreaks, to our love for Christ, and our walk with Him. We share Scriptures along the way. It's a very special relationship because we truly understand one another.
A couple of weeks ago, I received and email from my dear friend. She was emailing me about her day. She was telling me all she had accomplished that day around the house and doing her shopping. Then she began to list all the things she still didn't get done. She then said something to me that I thought was so profound. She said, "Why can't I ever let myself win?". Wow! Isn't that every woman's battle? We cannot ever let ourselves win. No matter how much we do, how smart we are, or how many people we help we feel it's never enough.
God immediately brought to my mind a reply to my sweet sister. As I began to answer her email, the words flowed through my finger tips as if God had a special message, not just for her, but for me. My reply went something like this:
"When are we ever going to learn to see ourselves though God's eyes instead of the eyes of man? God tells us plainly in His Word that we are the apple of His eye. Why are we the apple of His eye? It's not because of anything we do, anything we say, or how much we accomplish during a day. Rather it is because He just loves us. There's no stipulations, no hoops we have to jump through, and no standard we have to live up to. We do not have to be a perfect mom, have a great job, a college education, or keep a perfect house. He just loves us. His love is not based on a single thing we could ever do! Some way, somehow, we HAVE to begin to live our lives like we are the apple of God's eye no matter what we accomplish."
As I typed those words to my wonderful sister, something supernatural began to happen in me. You see, I have always felt that I needed to earn love by being "good enough". Whether it was the love of God or the love of people, I have always felt that no matter what I do, it's never enough. On that day, God began to free me from the bondage of trying to earn love or trying to be enough. I am still on the journey of replacing the old tapes that have played in my head for so many years with the Truth that God tells me that He thinks about me. I will say this: since I started this journey, my new way of thinking has been tried at times. But through those trials, God has always brought me back to the truth. I am the apple of His eye. I have not earned it by anything I have done. I just am, because He loves me.
Much Love!
"Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings" Psalm 17:8
A couple of weeks ago, I received and email from my dear friend. She was emailing me about her day. She was telling me all she had accomplished that day around the house and doing her shopping. Then she began to list all the things she still didn't get done. She then said something to me that I thought was so profound. She said, "Why can't I ever let myself win?". Wow! Isn't that every woman's battle? We cannot ever let ourselves win. No matter how much we do, how smart we are, or how many people we help we feel it's never enough.
God immediately brought to my mind a reply to my sweet sister. As I began to answer her email, the words flowed through my finger tips as if God had a special message, not just for her, but for me. My reply went something like this:
"When are we ever going to learn to see ourselves though God's eyes instead of the eyes of man? God tells us plainly in His Word that we are the apple of His eye. Why are we the apple of His eye? It's not because of anything we do, anything we say, or how much we accomplish during a day. Rather it is because He just loves us. There's no stipulations, no hoops we have to jump through, and no standard we have to live up to. We do not have to be a perfect mom, have a great job, a college education, or keep a perfect house. He just loves us. His love is not based on a single thing we could ever do! Some way, somehow, we HAVE to begin to live our lives like we are the apple of God's eye no matter what we accomplish."
As I typed those words to my wonderful sister, something supernatural began to happen in me. You see, I have always felt that I needed to earn love by being "good enough". Whether it was the love of God or the love of people, I have always felt that no matter what I do, it's never enough. On that day, God began to free me from the bondage of trying to earn love or trying to be enough. I am still on the journey of replacing the old tapes that have played in my head for so many years with the Truth that God tells me that He thinks about me. I will say this: since I started this journey, my new way of thinking has been tried at times. But through those trials, God has always brought me back to the truth. I am the apple of His eye. I have not earned it by anything I have done. I just am, because He loves me.
Much Love!
"Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings" Psalm 17:8
Monday, August 18, 2014
You Know Me!
Several years ago, on Christmas Day, I received a gift I never expected. We had gathered as a family, opened gifts, and I thought our Christmas morning ritual was over when Daniel said, "Wait Mom. You have one more gift. Lindsay will you help me?" They were both grinning from ear to ear as they went down stairs. Anxiously I sat and awaited their return. I heard a little commotion downstairs, then each of them came upstairs carrying a rocking chair! Daniel had been saving his money for months in order to buy me 2 rocking chairs. You see, since he was a small child I had told him about my Grandmother and her rocking chair. I remembered her rocking in that little chair. I remembered the creaking sound it made as she rocked for endless hours. I would tell my children that story and always end it by saying, "I just love rocking chairs".
As I look back on that Christmas morning, I recall an overwhelming feeling of being known. I remember tears stinging my eyes as I realized that Daniel had been listening all those years. He remembered the stories of my Grandmother, but most of all, he remembered that I always told him how I loved rocking chairs. His gift proved a simple fact to me. He knew me. Ah...the feeling of being known.
Last night I received an email from my sister in law. It was a personal email written to Lindsay and I. As I read it, I remember once again that overwhelming feeling of the joy of being known. She had taken an experience Lindsay and I recently had, understood our thoughts and concerns, and echoed back to us the fact that she knew us, and how we were feeling. Ah...the feeling of being known...
Isn't that something we all long for? I am not married. But many times I see couples who are very close, whispering to one another, giving one another a knowing look, or squeezing each others hand. I always pause for a second and think "How nice it is for them to truly be known in such an intimate way".
It's no wonder we all have that longing. It's a God-made feeling for us to enjoy. The Bible says this:
"You are My witnesses, says the Lord, and My servant whom I have chosen, that you may know Me, believe Me and remain steadfast to Me, and understand that I am He. Before Me there was no God formed, neither shall there be after Me." Isaiah 43:10
We are created in God's image. Our Creator longs to be known by us. In fact, He has chosen us to know Him! He not only longs for us to know Him, but as we grow in our knowledge of Him we learn to believe Him. The more we believe Him, the more we remain steadfast to Him and begin to understand that He is Yahweh. "I am He". No matter what we are going through, we know we can always trust The Great I Am.
Ah...What a lovely thought. The God of the Universe, our Creator, longs to be known. The peace and joy we find when we are truly known comes straight from our Father. That's how He created us, and that's what He deeply desires...."That you may know me"..... As a single woman, when I have that longing to be known, to be understood, I can always look at Jesus Christ. He understands that feeling. After all, He shares the same desire.
Much Love,
Kim
As I look back on that Christmas morning, I recall an overwhelming feeling of being known. I remember tears stinging my eyes as I realized that Daniel had been listening all those years. He remembered the stories of my Grandmother, but most of all, he remembered that I always told him how I loved rocking chairs. His gift proved a simple fact to me. He knew me. Ah...the feeling of being known.
Last night I received an email from my sister in law. It was a personal email written to Lindsay and I. As I read it, I remember once again that overwhelming feeling of the joy of being known. She had taken an experience Lindsay and I recently had, understood our thoughts and concerns, and echoed back to us the fact that she knew us, and how we were feeling. Ah...the feeling of being known...
Isn't that something we all long for? I am not married. But many times I see couples who are very close, whispering to one another, giving one another a knowing look, or squeezing each others hand. I always pause for a second and think "How nice it is for them to truly be known in such an intimate way".
It's no wonder we all have that longing. It's a God-made feeling for us to enjoy. The Bible says this:
"You are My witnesses, says the Lord, and My servant whom I have chosen, that you may know Me, believe Me and remain steadfast to Me, and understand that I am He. Before Me there was no God formed, neither shall there be after Me." Isaiah 43:10
We are created in God's image. Our Creator longs to be known by us. In fact, He has chosen us to know Him! He not only longs for us to know Him, but as we grow in our knowledge of Him we learn to believe Him. The more we believe Him, the more we remain steadfast to Him and begin to understand that He is Yahweh. "I am He". No matter what we are going through, we know we can always trust The Great I Am.
Ah...What a lovely thought. The God of the Universe, our Creator, longs to be known. The peace and joy we find when we are truly known comes straight from our Father. That's how He created us, and that's what He deeply desires...."That you may know me"..... As a single woman, when I have that longing to be known, to be understood, I can always look at Jesus Christ. He understands that feeling. After all, He shares the same desire.
Much Love,
Kim
Saturday, July 19, 2014
Love at first sight
It was love at first sight that day I saw you at PetSmart. There were so many puppies in that little closure. But you were the one that caught my eye, or should I say, I caught your eye. Lindsay caught your eye too. You kissed our hands and faces until we knew it was true, forever love.
We brought you home that day, shocking your "Bubba" when he saw you. It was love at first sight. The two of you were inseparable. The two of you played together hour after hour. You were always teasing us, making us laugh, and by our side when we needed you. Your unconditional love was always exactly what we needed through the hard times, tears, and through the best of times. Waiting at the top of the steps to give us a kiss when we walked in from a long hard day, you were the first one we saw, and it was love at first sight.
Our family was in constant transition. We said hello, and goodbye to friends and family time and time again. Lindsay and Daniel moved in and out. Friends stayed with us, then moved out. We lost other family members.You were the one constant love in our lives, never leaving us, never rejecting us, and never failing us. It was constant, consistent love you showed us day after day. You never left my side, and loved all of us more every single day.
Today as you laid on the blanket, you kissed our hands and faces as you became drowsy and then fell asleep. As I slipped out of the door and looked back, it was love at last sight.
You were one of a kind. We had a rare bond that I will hold in my heart forever. And someday, I pray, you will be in heaven. As soon as I see you again, it will be love at first sight.
I miss you more than I ever dreamed I would. I will always love you, Gordon. "Stinky" "Stinky man" "Grover" "Gordoms" "Widdles". You would answer to anything. haha So blessed to have you for 13 wonderful years. God knew exactly the dog we would need by our side as we walked our journey. Today you needed to go and rest in peace. No more suffering and no more pain. You're forever in my heart.
Love you so, but you knew that everyday of your life. Of all the people in the world, God gave you to us! We were blessed for 13 years by your love. I miss you terribly. That will eventually fade, but my love for you will never go away.
Always and forever, dear Gordon,
Thank you for all your love.
We brought you home that day, shocking your "Bubba" when he saw you. It was love at first sight. The two of you were inseparable. The two of you played together hour after hour. You were always teasing us, making us laugh, and by our side when we needed you. Your unconditional love was always exactly what we needed through the hard times, tears, and through the best of times. Waiting at the top of the steps to give us a kiss when we walked in from a long hard day, you were the first one we saw, and it was love at first sight.
Our family was in constant transition. We said hello, and goodbye to friends and family time and time again. Lindsay and Daniel moved in and out. Friends stayed with us, then moved out. We lost other family members.You were the one constant love in our lives, never leaving us, never rejecting us, and never failing us. It was constant, consistent love you showed us day after day. You never left my side, and loved all of us more every single day.
Today as you laid on the blanket, you kissed our hands and faces as you became drowsy and then fell asleep. As I slipped out of the door and looked back, it was love at last sight.
You were one of a kind. We had a rare bond that I will hold in my heart forever. And someday, I pray, you will be in heaven. As soon as I see you again, it will be love at first sight.
I miss you more than I ever dreamed I would. I will always love you, Gordon. "Stinky" "Stinky man" "Grover" "Gordoms" "Widdles". You would answer to anything. haha So blessed to have you for 13 wonderful years. God knew exactly the dog we would need by our side as we walked our journey. Today you needed to go and rest in peace. No more suffering and no more pain. You're forever in my heart.
Love you so, but you knew that everyday of your life. Of all the people in the world, God gave you to us! We were blessed for 13 years by your love. I miss you terribly. That will eventually fade, but my love for you will never go away.
Always and forever, dear Gordon,
Thank you for all your love.
Saturday, July 12, 2014
Sittin' On The Front Porch Waiting...
While talking with a friend on the phone last evening, he began to describe to me where he would love to be at that very moment. "Here's my dream, Kim. Let me describe it to you. I would love to be at a cabin, in the mountains, sitting on the porch and sipping a cup of coffee. Just watching the squirrels, and hanging out..."
As you all know, I love the mountains. Sitting on the porch at my favorite cabin is heaven on earth to me. My friends verbal painting caused me to think of our Heavenly Father. Picture this: Our Father sitting on the front porch of a cabin, watching, His eyes searching the horizon for one of His children to show up in the far distance. He is searching, waiting, watching. All at once He sees His child far in the distance. He stands to His feet, reaching out his arms. As the child slowly approaches, head down, feeling ashamed, our Father turns and steps off the porch. The child never leaves His sight. He begins to walk faster toward His child, calling his name. The child begins to look up, remembering where he came from, remembering the days he walked with his Father. It seems so long ago, and yet our Father feels like no time has passed.
Our Fathers steps quicken, until He is running. The child sees His Father running, arms wide opened. As he views this magnificent sight, he begins to look straight ahead. Their eyes lock. Then the child begins to run. The miles that once separated them no longer exist. Instead, they are within inches of one another. And the child falls...he falls into our Fathers arms. Over come with relief, joy and peace, he begins to cry. Immediately our Father is crying tears of joy. "Oh my child, I've been sitting on the front porch waiting. I've never forgotten. Never once have you left my mind. Welcome home, child. Let's sit down, have some coffee, and relax together. You are finally back where you belong."
I don't know about you, but I have certainly had my moments where I have been that child walking over the horizon, head down, feeling ashamed. Without fail, my Father has stood to His feet and ran to greet me. We have both shed tears of joy.
As I grow older, those times seem to be farther and farther apart. I am learning to never let my Father leave my sight. Life is much easier if we never walk away from where we belong. If I keep my eyes locked into His eyes, safety and love abound. There's no place safer than that front porch with my Father. For me, that's Home.
This blog was inspired by a conversation with my friend David, and by this song, "Come On Home" by Brady Toops. (give it a listen. It's an awesome song). All glory, praise and honor to Him!
Much Love everyone!
Kim
As you all know, I love the mountains. Sitting on the porch at my favorite cabin is heaven on earth to me. My friends verbal painting caused me to think of our Heavenly Father. Picture this: Our Father sitting on the front porch of a cabin, watching, His eyes searching the horizon for one of His children to show up in the far distance. He is searching, waiting, watching. All at once He sees His child far in the distance. He stands to His feet, reaching out his arms. As the child slowly approaches, head down, feeling ashamed, our Father turns and steps off the porch. The child never leaves His sight. He begins to walk faster toward His child, calling his name. The child begins to look up, remembering where he came from, remembering the days he walked with his Father. It seems so long ago, and yet our Father feels like no time has passed.
Our Fathers steps quicken, until He is running. The child sees His Father running, arms wide opened. As he views this magnificent sight, he begins to look straight ahead. Their eyes lock. Then the child begins to run. The miles that once separated them no longer exist. Instead, they are within inches of one another. And the child falls...he falls into our Fathers arms. Over come with relief, joy and peace, he begins to cry. Immediately our Father is crying tears of joy. "Oh my child, I've been sitting on the front porch waiting. I've never forgotten. Never once have you left my mind. Welcome home, child. Let's sit down, have some coffee, and relax together. You are finally back where you belong."
I don't know about you, but I have certainly had my moments where I have been that child walking over the horizon, head down, feeling ashamed. Without fail, my Father has stood to His feet and ran to greet me. We have both shed tears of joy.
As I grow older, those times seem to be farther and farther apart. I am learning to never let my Father leave my sight. Life is much easier if we never walk away from where we belong. If I keep my eyes locked into His eyes, safety and love abound. There's no place safer than that front porch with my Father. For me, that's Home.
This blog was inspired by a conversation with my friend David, and by this song, "Come On Home" by Brady Toops. (give it a listen. It's an awesome song). All glory, praise and honor to Him!
Much Love everyone!
Kim
Sunday, June 15, 2014
Your Love's Amazing
While staring in the mirror, getting ready for church, she began practicing her smiles. There's her "I'm doing great. How are you?" smile. There's the "I've missed you, too. We must have lunch soon" smile. The "My life couldn't be better. God is good." smile. And then " I feel wonderful. So good to see you! How are you?" smile.
All along, she's dying inside. Her heart is breaking. She believes the Scriptures, lives her life righteously, trust God in all things, and yet this gnawing pain will not go away. It comes and goes. Some days are better than others, but it's always felt somewhere deep inside. She's given it to God, worshiped Him, thanked Him even during the hurt, trusted Him with her life and all she is feeling. Yet, it's still there.
She quickly wipes a tear as it falls down her face, not wanting to mess up her makeup, or have her mascara drip. The sooner she can leave, the better it will be. While at church, it's much easier to put that smile on her face, encourage others, and redirect her pain into something good.
But the questions still linger. He found someone new. He found a better family, better children, and better friends. Are they sweeter, prettier, or more fun? They must have been worth walking away from her. What did she do wrong that caused him to leave? Yet she is his own flesh and blood.
Her mind drifts back to a conversation she had with him when she was a young teen. "Will you please come home from 'work' earlier, and maybe spend more time with me?" "Sure baby. Anything for you" he replied. One more broken promise. One of many broken promises. One more thing that still stings. The hurt and lies run through her mind over and over. Lies about herself, lies about other things. Erasing the tapes is easier said than done.
She has many friends and family. She is blessed to be loved and cared for by so many wonderful people. Yet it continually gnaws at her heart- the one who should have loved her most, failed her. What was wrong with her and her family? Yes, it would have taken hard work, but wasn't she worth fixing things?
Gathering her thoughts and emotions, the church service is amazing. God's presence enters the room like a blanket wrapping His arms around her. As she leaves, the pain she felt earlier lessens. Her smile is genuine now. Feeling lighthearted, she continues with her day, laughing, singing and spending time with loved ones.
God IS good. He IS faithful. Whether she sees it or feels it every second of the day, He never leaves her side. Looking back, she realizes that she is loved more than any man could ever love her. Her Heavenly Father adores her. He keeps all His promises. And He will never leave.
Note from me:
Dear friends, as I write this fictional story, I realize that even though life doesn't go the way we think it should, God never changes. Life certainly changes. It has it's ups and downs, good times and bad times. Sometimes sorrow pins us to the floor for a while. But there's always a light, dim as it may seem, at the end of the tunnel. Christians, let's get real with one another. We all suffer. Let's allow the church to be a safe place to laugh and to cry. Let's bring our hurts and pain before Him, surrounded by fellow Christians, and love one another through every part of life, no matter how big or small. Can we do that? No gossiping about our brothers and sisters in Christ, no sharing "prayer request" in order to gossip in a Christian manner. Together we can work on it, anyway. Together we can creat a safe haven for all who need a place to come and open up. We can't always fix the pain, but we sure can make the load lighter with a hug, kiss, or encouraging words. Let's do what God has called us to do. Let's be the true church, which means love.
Much love everyone,
Kim
All along, she's dying inside. Her heart is breaking. She believes the Scriptures, lives her life righteously, trust God in all things, and yet this gnawing pain will not go away. It comes and goes. Some days are better than others, but it's always felt somewhere deep inside. She's given it to God, worshiped Him, thanked Him even during the hurt, trusted Him with her life and all she is feeling. Yet, it's still there.
She quickly wipes a tear as it falls down her face, not wanting to mess up her makeup, or have her mascara drip. The sooner she can leave, the better it will be. While at church, it's much easier to put that smile on her face, encourage others, and redirect her pain into something good.
But the questions still linger. He found someone new. He found a better family, better children, and better friends. Are they sweeter, prettier, or more fun? They must have been worth walking away from her. What did she do wrong that caused him to leave? Yet she is his own flesh and blood.
Her mind drifts back to a conversation she had with him when she was a young teen. "Will you please come home from 'work' earlier, and maybe spend more time with me?" "Sure baby. Anything for you" he replied. One more broken promise. One of many broken promises. One more thing that still stings. The hurt and lies run through her mind over and over. Lies about herself, lies about other things. Erasing the tapes is easier said than done.
She has many friends and family. She is blessed to be loved and cared for by so many wonderful people. Yet it continually gnaws at her heart- the one who should have loved her most, failed her. What was wrong with her and her family? Yes, it would have taken hard work, but wasn't she worth fixing things?
Gathering her thoughts and emotions, the church service is amazing. God's presence enters the room like a blanket wrapping His arms around her. As she leaves, the pain she felt earlier lessens. Her smile is genuine now. Feeling lighthearted, she continues with her day, laughing, singing and spending time with loved ones.
God IS good. He IS faithful. Whether she sees it or feels it every second of the day, He never leaves her side. Looking back, she realizes that she is loved more than any man could ever love her. Her Heavenly Father adores her. He keeps all His promises. And He will never leave.
Note from me:
Dear friends, as I write this fictional story, I realize that even though life doesn't go the way we think it should, God never changes. Life certainly changes. It has it's ups and downs, good times and bad times. Sometimes sorrow pins us to the floor for a while. But there's always a light, dim as it may seem, at the end of the tunnel. Christians, let's get real with one another. We all suffer. Let's allow the church to be a safe place to laugh and to cry. Let's bring our hurts and pain before Him, surrounded by fellow Christians, and love one another through every part of life, no matter how big or small. Can we do that? No gossiping about our brothers and sisters in Christ, no sharing "prayer request" in order to gossip in a Christian manner. Together we can work on it, anyway. Together we can creat a safe haven for all who need a place to come and open up. We can't always fix the pain, but we sure can make the load lighter with a hug, kiss, or encouraging words. Let's do what God has called us to do. Let's be the true church, which means love.
Much love everyone,
Kim
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