A walk to remember....

It was a hot muggy morning in Florida, like most mornings in Florida are. I was up before the rest of the family, and feeling a little restless. So I headed out the door for a long walk on the beach. As I walked, and began to pray, I remembered back to the night before. I had gone to bed late that evening with the same old guilt. Wrestling with the same old struggle was getting tiresome, and I was begging God to remove it.

As I walked and talked out loud, I am sure my fellow beach walkers thought I had lost my mind.  My prayer that morning, through my sweat and tears, went something like this: "God, I can never get this right! No matter how hard I try, I am always failing! Please just remove it!" The wrestling within me  was so deep, the longing for Him was almost palatable. At the same time I could almost see a finger pointing at me from my accuser and making me feel unworthy, and inadequate. As I prayed, His sweet voice came to me. It was almost audible, and I have never forgotten His words.

"My child, I am not sitting up here measuring and counting your failures! I'm not keeping score against you. I just love the fact that you get up everyday and come after me!"

Grace, Mercy. Unfailing unconditional Love. I felt all of that on the beach that day. I knew in my heart once again, that even though I fail all too often, His love for me never ceases.

I have carried that morning walk with me in my heart for a few years now. And even this morning as I sit here writing, His words ring in my head. I am still a big ole piece of work in progress! And He is still my God who is so proud of me, failures and all... He just longs for my time and wants me to get up everyday and head towards Him...

                                                           Fernandina Beach, Florida

"You don't know Jack"...

It was a spring day, two weeks after several tornadoes had devastated our area. Our neighborhood was in shambles. We had not had a direct hit by a tornado, but there was so much wind damage all around us. Trees down, roofs damaged, trees through roofs, etc. I remember driving home from work that day and I was exhausted. As I rounded the corner and went up the hill toward our neighborhood, low and behold, there he was. My dad. My 77 year old dad. He had his work hat on. If memory serves me right, he had his work gloves, too. And he was mowing our neighbors yard.

Our neighbor was a 30-something year old, able bodied man. He hadn't bothered to mow his yard all year, so the grass was knee high. You see, my dad had seen my neighbor out looking at the damage on his roof the day before. Dad was coming to chop up some downed trees for us (another act of love and service). When he saw our neighbor, he stopped to talk with him about the damage his house had sustained. And while he was at it, he talked with him about Jesus. But dad didn't want to leave it at that. He loaded his mower up, and came down the next day to mow our neighbors yard. He later told me that he let the man know he was doing it in Jesus name. The man barely uttered a thank you and closed the door on dad. That didn't detour this honorable man of God. He went ahead with his mowing, sweat dripping from his brow, doing his work "in Jesus name".

I have watched Dad do things like this for others my entire life. He goes about quietly serving. Humbly talking to other people, getting to know them, praying for them, and when possible, telling them about Jesus. He has won more people to Christ through his humble spirit and by loving them than anyone I know.

Why am I telling you this? Dad would not want me to talk about the things he does for others. He would be embarrassed to get any attention for his service or his kindness.

But I am writing and telling this story for a couple of reasons.

I am seeing a movement, as of late, that is bashing organized religion. I have written in the past about my views on this subject. You are absolutely right about organized religion! It has failed miserably in so many ways. Churches are full of "religious" people who are hypocrites, fakes, snobs, and cliques. They are full of adulterers, liars, cheaters, and people that are so judgmental, usually because they are covering their own sins.

But churches are also full of godly men and women. People like my dad. For every hypocrite, there is someone who will selflessly mow someone yard, or cook a meal for someone in need, or feed homeless people. There are people who work with children, or mentor teens, or visit the elderly. The list goes on and on of good I see. There are many people within the church walls, who love Jesus with all their hearts and get up every day to serve Him and serve others in whatever way He calls them to do. These are men and women of God. Yes, God is real. Yes, He is alive. Yes, many people serve Him. If you don't believe me, let me introduce you to Jack Price...my dad...

This is my Mom and Dad, with Paul, and Lindsay and Daniel. I am so thankful for the heritage they given us. Mom has served God most of her life, too, just like dad, only behind the scenes a little more..

Much love everyone, and thanks for reading...
 

Isaiah 30:18-21

 ¹⁸ Therefore the LORD longs to be gracious to you,
And therefore He waits on high to have compassion on you.
For the LORD is a God of justice;
How blessed are all those who long for Him.
 ¹⁹ O people in Zion, inhabitant in Jerusalem, you will weep no longer. He will surely be gracious to you at the sound of your cry; when He hears it, He will answer you.
 ²⁰ Although the Lord has given you bread of privation and water of oppression, He, your Teacher will no longer hide Himself, but your eyes will behold your Teacher.
 ²¹ Your ears will hear a word behind you, “^]This is the way, walk in it,” whenever you turn to the right or to the left.

Fear Not...

I have never been a person with a lot of fears or phobias. When I was young, I remember being a fearful child. But as I grew older, and worked through my "stuff", I became less and less fearful. Once I reached my 40's, I really didn't consider myself to be a fearful person.

Then, I turned 50. And all of a sudden I developed all kinds of fears! Fear of severe storms, fear of heights, fear of driving on the interstate, and a fear of dentists! haha I am sure if I thought more about it I could list more fears; but frankly, its getting embarrassing!!

I have watched my beautiful 23 year old daughter battle with an ongoing fear of heights. There are two places that we visit frequently that cause her to tremble as soon as she sees them. One is an overlook at Fort Mountain State Park in Georgia. We hike the trail that leads to the overlook a couple of times a year. Without fail, when we start climbing down the rocky path that leads to the deck, she begins to tell me that she IS NOT going out on the deck. "I'll walk down there, but I'm not going to the edge" she says. And, without fail, I say to her, "The only way to get through a fear like you have is to push yourself through it! If you'll walk out there, eventually you won't be scared! The view is worth it!" The last couple of trips she has actually taken about 3 steps out onto the overlook. This was a monumental time in her life!

The other place that she is terrified of is the glass bridge in downtown Chattanooga. We have made that walk time and time again. The more we walked it, the more fearful she was. But, something very interesting happened last September...

Lindsay was meeting a young man that she was quite smitten with to go downtown for a late night walk. Before she left to meet him she said to me, "I hope he doesn't expect me to walk across that bridge." To which I gave her the same old reply. "You can't get through fear unless you push yourself.....blah blah blah". When she came home that night, she told me about the wonderful walk she'd had. And then she added, "Annddd, I crossed the glass bridge! I told him I was afraid, but he just said to me 'come on! you're doing this!', and I DID IT!" After that night, they crossed that bridge several times together. It was amazing to see the courage she gained as he held her hand and they crossed together!

 So, today I am having to eat my words, and follow my own advice! Tonight I sit here knowing that within the next 3 days, I am going to be faced head on with several of my fears. Severe storms are predicted for tomorrow. My son will be driving to Texas in two days. That's his first long trip away from us, and he'll be doing most of the driving, which puts me face to face with my fear of interstates. And I HAVE to make a dreaded appointment with a dentist. I am pretty sure dental surgery will be the outcome. My heart is racing just typing that one...

 But, I am taking some notes from my own advice and my daughters experience. You see, just as she held on to her boyfriend's hand and began to conquer her fear, I am going to hold on to my Father's hand and face mine. The fear is starting to be worse than any pain that my future could possibly hold! Really, isn't that the way all of our fears are? We are afraid and yet our wonderful Father is always there! Our fears do not change the outcome of life. Just like Lindsay hiking down that path to the overlook, her fear robbed her of enjoying the hike! And my fears will rob me of enjoying my journey with God!

So here goes... "In order to get past my fear, I have to push through it" and today I will add to my advice, "and hold tightly to my wonderful Father's hand!" I know His heart! I can trust Him!

Isaiah 41:13 For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your hand, and says to you do not fear; I will help you.
Perfect!
Much love!

Here is the overlook at Fort Mountain State Park! It really does hang off the side of the mountain! But the view is amazing!

And here is the glass bridge in our beautiful city, Chattanooga! It crosses from the Walnut Street Bridge into the art district. What a beautiful city we live in!

Dear Church

Dear Church,
As of late, my heart has become very troubled for you (us). As I write this, please don't think I am excluding myself. I am just taking a realistic look at what we've become.

Over time, we have bought into many lies and deceptions that the world has to offer. We have ceased to live our lives in a manner that reflects Christ. And yet we go to church Sunday after Sunday, put on our religious faces, and try to fool everyone around us. We lift our hands, nod our heads, and give each other hugs. Then we go home to our lives of secret sin, and believe that if we hide it, no one knows. And if no one knows, it doesn't exist.

We teach honesty, and yet we lie and deceive.

We preach love and yet turn our backs on those who look differently than we do or live differently than we do. We rush to the food bank or community kitchen to volunteer at Christmas. (and there is nothing wrong with this!) But we pass right by the needy ones, or those of a different race, or a different 'class' when we are out and about going through our daily routine.

We preach against sexual sin and adultery and yet we watch porn, secretly chat with and text people other than our spouses, send Facebook messages to those we shouldn't be corresponding with, and continuously use technology to cheat. After all, if no one knows, then how can it hurt anyone?

We wound each other deeply with our words or actions and yet we never say we're sorry. We never make things right. We never acknowledge the pain we've caused.

We huddle together so closely, only hanging out with fellow Christians, while those who used to be "one of us" walk away. We seem to never notice they are gone. We are far too busy to call or text them and tell them we love and miss them.

We teach and sing about the joy found in Christ, and yet we turn our backs on those that are depressed using insensitive sayings like "just believe God" or "just pray about it" or "I'll be praying for you". Then we avoid them like the plague. After all, they are far too draining to waste our time and emotions on, right?

We preach being kind, and yet we disrespect, betray, and back stab.

We preach integrity, and yet we steal and cheat. It's just the government. They owe us more anyway...or it's just my employer. They don't pay me enough anyway. Etc... 

What brought all this on? The truth is, I have so many people in my life that I love who have walked away from the church. I talk with them every chance I get. They are so wounded that they confuse the pain caused by believers with the existence of God, They don't see Christ in those who confess Him loudly. Rather they see hypocrites, liars, deceivers, and adulterers. "If Christians reflect Christ, then He's not a God I want any part of" they will say.

Time and time again they tell me it's because of the hypocrisy in the church that they have walked away from their faith. I hear over and over how they are burnt out on a belief that teaches love yet rejects those that are struggling with sin or pain. The drug addict, or homosexual, or adulterer, or liar would not dare come to us for help or for love. We are far too judgmental and hyper spiritual. And yet, we are the same. We are struggling with these same sins in secret. Its easier to point a finger than it is to love. Its easier to turn our backs than face the sinner.

Take someone who has walked away from God to coffee or invite them to dinner. And let them talk. Just listen! Don't quote Scriptures or preach. They already know how we believe. You'll be amazed at what God can do through us if we learn to open our hearts!

This is not what I had in mind writing when I sat down. As I write, I am examining myself, and it stings really bad. As Jon Foreman says, "A mirror is much harder to hold".
Much Love!

 Here's that tune from Jon Foreman! Give it a listen! :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nlv9th0Fo10

Autumn reminds me...

I was having lunch with a dear friend the other day. Our conversation wondered from our families, churches, mutual friends, and, of course the food we were eating...and then, as usual, our talk turned to God and what He's doing in our lives. We continued to talk while walking to our cars. As we stood and said goodbye until our next lunch, we hugged, and then my beautiful friend said, "I just long to be awed by God! He does awe me, but I want more!" I knew exactly what she meant! How I long to see more, to know more of Him, and to walk in awe every single day. He awes me constantly, but all to often I look past what He's doing, as I am caught up in getting by day to day.

I took this thought home with me. As the next couple of days rolled by, I thought often about the day I accepted Christ as my Savior. Twenty Six years ago! What a ride! I remember the moment so well. It was a lovely autumn day. I had come to a point in my life where the sin I was living in was empty. I had many friends, but I was lonely. I had done it all and yet, I wanted so much more out of life. I longed for freedom. I longed for peace. I fell to my knees that night while alone in my apartment and cried out to God, "I will follow You anywhere. I will give up anything, if You will give me peace!" I got up off my knees and in that very moment, I was different. I felt different. I thought differently. I no longer desired the sins that had kept me pinned down. I only wanted God. He was my one and only love. This new life that He had brought me into was exciting and He was all I desired!

As I think back over my conversation with my friend in that parking lot, I realize that God is awing me once again! The story of what He brought me out of, and where He has led me never gets old to me. The drastic change in my life was the most awesome moment I have ever experienced. I stand in awe today that the Creator of the Universe loved a girl like me, when very few people cared. He turned my life around and set my feet on a brand new path! Yes, He is Awesome! Twenty Six years and counting!

To: My dear friend, that I love so much...Come Home...He's waiting for you, just like He was waiting for me. If He can turn me around, then He is longing to do the same for you. I am praying and waiting on the day you give in... I can't wait to see Christ on your face!

My thoughts on love and other ramblings..

It seems that in this day and age, love is thrown away so easily. When it gets hard, we just push it away. After all, its much easier to lose love than to go through the pain of sticking it out and healing together. In my opinion, when God gives you the gift of true love, it is to be valued like a precious jewel. Protected, nurtured, and treasured.
I once heard a man on Moody say, "When your relationship is having a problem, don't run away from it and hide. Run TOWARD it. Embrace it. And immediately begin the repair." He was speaking to men. He was teaching men how to keep peace in their marriage and with their children. I have thought about this statement over the years. It is so true! But sadly, I generally see people run away from problems, stick their heads in the sand and pretend like nothings wrong. This method only brings more problems. And leaves unresolved hurts and pains which grow over the years until they are beyond repair.
For those who are blessed to find an awesome person to love them, treasure your love. Have fun together. Laugh together. Talk about everything. Allow your partner to feel safe, knowing that you won't condemn them, even if you don't agree. If they are struggling, then give them room to figure life out. Forgive and move on when hurt arises. Pray for them. Be proud of them. Support them. And never, ever toss your love aside. What a beautiful gift from your Father. It's a gift that not all people receive. So value it with all that's in you.
Love should never be disposable. "If this one doesn't work, I'll just move on to the next." Granted, some times it doesn't work. I am by no means saying that every relationship works out. Life is not a fairy tale. Hearts do get broken. But when you find that "thing" with someone...that special connection where you can almost read each others mind. You know, when you can just glance at each other and know what the other one is thinking. When your heart skips a beat when they walk into the room, even after 30 years of marriage, then you are truly blessed beyond measure. Never ever take it for granted. And never ever forget to thank God for it. Life is hard. We all need someone to walk through it with us. What a gift!
I watched a couple have this exact gift recently. They tossed it away. They had amazing chemistry and such a strong love. They had put a lot of effort into each other. Then things got hard. I guess 'the grass looked greener on the other side'...They didn't fight for their love. They just moved on. I long to see them work through it. Their love was so beautiful.
Not sure where this blog came from... God put it on my heart for some reason. Yes, I am feeling uncomfortable being so vulnerable with my thoughts... But, what's new, really? haha
Much Love everyone... And, to my friends that threw their love away... it was a beautiful love. Reconsider... it will be worth it.
"There is no fear in love; but perfect love cast out fear" 1 John 4:18a