My daughter chose purity. In 2002, we stood in front of hundreds of people at Silverdale Baptist Church, and she made a vow to her father and I that she would remain pure. One that day, she proudly choked out the vows to remain pure until her wedding day. And we proudly choked out our vows to hold her accountable, to keep our home as an environment that would help her make keep this vow, to guard her as much as possible, and to openly discuss this decision with her over the next several years, right up until her wedding day. She proudly wore a ring that represented her vow. She studied the biblical meaning of a vow, and knew how seriously saying a vow to God was going to be. But she was determined to make that choice. Little did we know how difficult this decision would become and how much controversy it would cause.
Over the years she lost several boyfriends because of her decision. Even the most godly young men couldn't deal with her remaining pure. She went through much heartache and pain, losing a couple of young men that she felt she had a future with. She was criticized and even mocked over her choice. We had very deep conversations, and even arguments as I fought to help her keep her vow. Hurt and pain came from the vow, but she stayed true to herself and to God. And God honored her...
One day, almost two and a half years ago, she meet an amazing, handsome young man. He saw her as a future wife, not just someone to have sex with at the time. Though he had never thought of purity because of his upbringing, he decided to join her in her quest to remain pure. He not only joined her, but he has protected her in every way possible from any temptation they may have as they dated.
Nothing ever prepared her for the firestorm that would follow. It seemed that friends and acquaintances took up two camps, with a few friends in the "Remain Pure" camp, and many friends in the "That's just not the way life is in this day and age" camp. Friends and family turned their backs on them, became angry, and mocked them for their choice. They even lost a couple of friends who were so far against their decision. They were cussed out and teased. And they have been supported and loved by those who agree with their choice. Even several friend who didn't choose purity have encouraged them to stay the course until they were married.
The point of this blog is not to shame anyone in any way. Most of my friends, family and acquaintances have not chosen this course for their life. I believe that Jesus Himself was tempted in all ways, including sexual temptation so He understands the struggle. I also believe that it's much easier to give in and have sex than to remain pure. If you have not chosen the same path, I am not condemning you in any way, shape or form. You are still loved and respected by me and by Lindsay no matter what your choice. And if you are a Christian, there is always forgiveness from God. He never turns away His children just because they made a mistake. I would extend love to you. We all have skeletons in our closest, no matter what our sin is. Not one of us can proclaim to be innocent. Lindsay has many other things that she struggles with. We all have our own path in life. Our paths include both good choices, bad choices and regrets over choices we have made. I certainly have mine. Everyone has different struggles along the way. Not one of us should condemn the other,
My question is this. Why not love and support those who have chosen the path of purity? It is not an easy path, but it is the right choice for her. She has many friends who made the same choice. They are married now, and they have no regrets whatsoever.
The truth is, this is not the way people live their lives these days. Living together and having sex outside of marriage is the most common way of life for most people. For those of you who believe this way is perfectly fine, we still love you. We don't mock you or tease you. We don't preach to you about your choice. Unless you bring it up, we don't discuss it with you. It is your business and between you and God.
So why not give those who choose purity the same respect?
In 6 months from yesterday I will walk Lindsay down the isle. I will be a very proud and happy momma as I give Lindsay's hand to her love, Daniel. At that moment, she will give me her purity ring. It will be a sign to us of the heartache, pain, and now the joy that has come along with purity. Celebrate this moment with us! Whether you agree or not, it's the path she has chosen. She freely loves you all, no matter what your choice has been. No condemnation. As a tear may fall from my eye at that moment, just know that it's a been a long battle that we fought hard for. In a life full of hurts, pain, and disappointment, this will be a moment of victory. Please rejoice with us as the struggle comes to an end and she can freely give herself to the love of her life.
Much love everyone!
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